Some Lousy Diary of Love

September282012

9/28/12

Dear Diary,

I don’t think I can do this anymore. Pretending to be friends with him when really I still like him much more.

September272012

He hugged me today. He’s hugged me before but this was one of those long lingering hugs that last forever. Those are my favorite kind of hugs, where when he has you in his arms and everything is ok. You’re just wrapped in his arms and nothing else is there. You forget where you are and all your worries or even what made him hug you. You forget that a second ago you were ready to slam the door on his face and now there’s no place you would rather be. We sat there for a while and all he said “it’s ok, everything is ok” and suddenly it was. My head was right where his heart is, all I heard was his words and his heartbeat. That was it, and I just took a deep breath and all I could smell was him. Those are my favorite kinds of hugs and I wish that they would happen more often.

hugs and kisses hugs love life Dear Diary

August242012

8/24/12

To text or not to text for that is the question. I mean I have his number, I’m going camping, nothing to do so I could text himbut my family woulod be like who you texting? It would give me a chance to talk to him, but I don’t know. HELP

Help :(

August222012

8/22/12

So I haven’t been updating this because for a while I wasn’t strong enough to look at this without thinking of all the times we shared and being sad that they’re over. I’m not sad anymore. I regret that he took my first kiss but I think I’ll get over that. Anyway for a while now I’ve liked this new guy and he’s awesome but we’re not very good friends yet I’m working on it. But the other day the wierdest thing happened. He was having a party at his house and I was invited. So I went and I was talking with his brother for a while. His brother was super nice and sweet and both of them are flirts so they were both flirting with everyone. I’m right between their ages so I fit in with both. But I think I started to like his little brother. But I’m not completely sure

confused life life problems love asdfghjkl

August42012

8/4/12

He had to go and bring that up. We were just starting to be friends again and he goes and brings up our kiss. Really? I was getting over him! Now look what he’s done. I’m back here. Where I poured my heart out for him and now every feeling I ever had is back out in the open.

Dear Diary i don't know what to do anymore Why adsfghjkl

July252012

7/24/12

So I was told today that he liked some one else. She told me, then he told me. She has a boyfriend and he didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to do because her boyfriend didn’t want him in her life and all he wanted was to be in her life. So I told her it came down to who she wanted more in her life, and she didn’t know. So my next thought was to go to him. He was so sad and pathetic. He was so upset that she turned him down, so I gave him advice I wish I could listen to. I told him that sometimes the best thing you can be is friends. It may kill you inside but you have to be strong because their worth it. Maybe that’s what you should do. So he did. And that’s the story of how I cried myself to sleep for the first time because of a boy. Only thing is I’m still not sure if this story has a happy ending.

goodbye

1PM

7/23/12

I started a new distraction today. I started watching How I Met Your Mother. This show is so great. It also gives me conflicted feelings. One minute I wish I was 21 and single so I could just get laid then the next minute I wish I had someone like Marshall to be with me forever. Yeah so I watched 3 seasons of that show today. I’m gonna finish them tomorrow.

7AM

7/22/12

Today is my half birthday. Yes, people don’t usually celebrate that but on my real birthday I had to compete so this one was like my real birthday, only this one sucked more.

July242012

7/21/12

I never realized how many red cars there are in this town. Every time I drive by one I think of you, and wonder if it’s yours. I always feel pathetic when I do that.

July212012

7/20/12

So today was amazing, I was with my best friend the entire day, she helped me take my mind off of him. And when I went to workout, the nicest thing happened. My trainer was teasing me because I was apparently moving slow. My little sister stepped in and told him that I’m always slow especially getting ready. I couldn’t believe she said that! But he was super nice about it. He said “Why do you take a long time? Doing your makeup? Do you even need makeup?” It’s just the little things that people say, that make my day.